Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I am available for nakedness
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
