wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
