dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
