Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
