I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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