Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize