new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize