how can u be prego again
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
where are my eyebrows?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
