You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
