"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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