Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
where does the pee come out of this thing
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
