What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
