Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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