I will die if light touches me.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
