I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize