I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
