mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
