It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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