I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
