My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
