You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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