you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
