I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
