Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
