I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
