the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
is wine microwaveable?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
