3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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