With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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