are you still at the devil's house?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
