Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
