This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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