Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
