idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
