sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Enjoy the penises
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize