saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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