soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
