remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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