laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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