I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
