I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
