I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
