I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
