omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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