Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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