yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
