How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
