Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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