she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
