Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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