i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
