My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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