so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
