question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
