she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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