dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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